I have been praying constantly for a little girl named Kate. Her story can be followed at
www.caringBridge.org/visit/mcraekate. I absolutely can't imagine what this family is feeling right now. I wish so much that there was some way I could help them. They have been giving updates regularly which makes it easier to know what exactly to pray for.
I have also had my sister-in-law Michele on my heart. She has Poly cystic kidney disease and she is going downhill Very fast. She recently had a port put into her stomach to allow her to do (at home) dialysis since no other veins were working for her. When she had the surgery done, it now appears that they accidentally pierced her bowels, and she in turn needed a second surgery to remove a portion of them. She is now fighting for her life due to infection and her poor health to begin with.
A couple of months back she had asked my husband and I if we would adopt her three children if she were to pass away. This decision has not been easy to make, and we still have not made it. We have no clue as to what these children have been exposed to as we know that she has led a very different lifestyle to say the least. We had separated ourselves from her life years ago due to choices she was making. We fear the affects that it could have on our own children and becoming a mother of six would be life altering. I also know financially, it would be VERY hard as we are having a hard time staying afloat as it is.
What bothers me most is that my husband and I see things differently. I forgive very easily and can put my sister-in-laws actions behind me. I do also want to give these kids a life that they haven't had before. I am one though, who also doesn't look at the big picture and has been railroaded before by people I have helped. I can't stop thinking about the fact that, here she is in a hospital bed, fighting for her life, and also scared about where her children might go. Nobody should ever feel that way.
My husband, on the other hand, is one that examines everything. Which yes, in some cases is good. From his standpoint, we cannot afford to raise other kids and from talking to social workers we would not be able to receive support for these children. Plus, we know nothing about the biological fathers and what we have heard we don't know what to believe.
My sister told a story to me the other day which has stayed with me. The short version goes like this......
A friend of hers from bible study was on the "Wheel of Fortune" game show. She made it all the way and managed to get to the bonus round. She did not say the phrase in time and didn't win. She would have won a substantial amount of money if she would have guessed the phrase in time. What bothered the lady the most is that she knew the answer but didn't get it out of her mouth in time. She went home feeling horrible. A few days later she called Social Security to inform them of the money she had won. They told her that if she were to have won $1.00 more that she would have been cancelled from Social Security for earning too much money. Was that God or what! Sometimes we just don't understand why things happen but they become very clear to us later.
So today I have been in prayer alot. Praying for Kate and praying lots and lots of details about what role I should play in regard to my nieces and nephews lives. I know the Lord will give me answers. I just hope that my mind will remain clear enough to recognize them.
Amy
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